Monday, September 21, 2009

akong baby na cute padulong gwapo!


Finally, my tummy was opened last September 15, 2009, 10:17 pm, the same day of my birthday to get him out!. Allen Lloyd N. Soldevilla..nickname, botsoy gamay is coming to SF without me…

Friday, June 12, 2009

a woman, a wife, a mother to be


She's had a lot of lovers before him. She's used to men wanting her. Ever since she got into this place, she's had men tell her that they couldn't stop thinking about her. That they longed for her to be with them day and night, asking them to take her, to claim her. She'd laugh at their little attempts to have her stay with them. They'd promise her the world. And sometimes she'd believe to one of them. They promised her anything they could get their hands on. She thought it foolish. There was nothing she couldn't get for herself. The pain was all worth it. It made her stronger. If she could get through that, what else could she not do on her own? She would look at these men, these lovers of hers who would be so infatuated with her to the point of dying for her. She'd humor them a bit. Give them what they wanted. A night with her. She would beg them to stay in the morning, but they wouldn't (but some would). And in the morning only to find he's gone. She would call his name in hopes that he would respond. But he would be long gone and most probably, he would never come back to her. They had their share of her, she would want nothing more. She knew that time would come they would no longer want her and so she left. She would rather have them longing for her than them tired of her. She would not be thrown away. A woman of her kind was not fit to be unwanted.

Her affairs would never end with results. By results, it meant in her womb. She'd never allow it.

This one shouldn't have been different. It was the same old thing. Her affairs with this young man (She liked his name. Mark Allen. She liked how it sounded between breathless gasps and low groans) were merely physical. That's how it had started. She realized that she'd been seeing him more than any of her other lovers. That she asked for him almost every night. It had become so normal that she didn't notice a lot of things. She didn't notice how he held him lovingly after each time, how she kissed him tenderly after he finally dozed off after hours of talking to her.

She notice how he too not failed to leave her before morning.But what surprised her was that he returned to spend the whole day with her.

And on a February morning, She looked at him, as he lay beside her. He was catching his breath before he moved an arm around her waist, nuzzling the side of her neck. She chuckled softly and closed her eyes, stroking his hair - her fingers running through the strands of his hair. There were no words between them. She did not know what to say. She felt her heart pounding on her breast and her hold on him had tightened. He stopped, he noticed this and pulled back. His hand move to cup her cheek and he met her eyes, respectfully, he looked into them. There was no intimidation or awe like most lovers. There was just tenderness. The tenderness she didn't know she'd yearned for until now. Her eyes softened and she did not care if he saw it at that moment. He only smiled at her. He leaned in to kiss her, moving back an inch a few moments after. He let her rest on him. She felt the beating of his

She clutched onto his shoulders and took a deep breath.

"Mark Allen..." she called his name softly.

He was her lover. She was his lover.

She was his. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach.
He was confused by this and he looked at her.

"It's yours."

Monday, May 18, 2009

smother me

Let me be the one who calls you baby
All the time
Surely you can take some comfort
Knowing that you're mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?

Let me be the one who never leaves
You all alone
I hold my breath and lose the feeling
That I'm on my own (leaves me all alone)
Hold me too tight stay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time(all the time)

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of

my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?(4X- smother me)

When I'm alone time goes so slow
I need you here with me
and how my mistakes have made
Your heart break
Still I need you here with me
So Baby I'm, Baby I'm here

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me(smother me)
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?(don't let me be alone)

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me(smother me)
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?(3X smother me)
Let me be the one who calls you baby
All the time
Let me be the one who calls you baby
All the time
Let me be the one who calls you baby
the one who calls you baby.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

the knots were tied!!!!




Tuesday, March 24, 2009

237 reasons of having sex

237 Reasons to Have Sex by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

I'm not sure who asked the question to begin with (as though you needed a reason!), but here is the full list of 237 reasons that people said why they have sex:

1. I was ''in the heat of the moment.''
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like ''the thing to do.''
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness "(i.e.," intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from my friends.
9. It's "exciting," adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to have something to tell my friends.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you're supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was ''horny.''
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to ''go all the way'' than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was ''committed.''
39. I was competing with someone else to ''get the person.''
40. I wanted to ''gain control'' of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress.
47. I didn't know how to say ''no.''
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50 My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It's fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone "(i.e.," get revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn't had sex for a while.
60. The person was ''available.''
61. I didn't want to ''lose'' the person.
62. I thought it would help ''trap'' a new partner.
63. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to ''possess'' the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about themselves.
80. I didn't want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to ''get over'' an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a deeper level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a ''spiritual'' experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship ''routine''.
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got ''carried away.''
97. I needed another ''notch on my belt.''
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned "(e.g.," on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It's considered ''taboo'' by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too ''hot'' (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to ''get sex out of my system'' so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner's desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said ''no.''
113. The person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about themselves.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my "partner," so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I'm addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is "boring," so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the ''rebound'' from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem.
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
144. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
145. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
146. I wanted to keep warm.
147. I wanted to punish myself.
148. I wanted to break up a rival's relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
149. I wanted to stop my partners' nagging.
150. I wanted to impress friends.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease "(e.g.," "herpes," AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another's relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say ''no'' due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. I wanted to raise my self-esteem.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work – sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say ''I've missed you.''
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say ''I'm sorry.''
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say ''Thank you.''
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say ''goodbye.''
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve ''blue balls.''
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person's physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person's friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.
227. I knew the person was usually ''out of my league.''
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I wanted to feel loved.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about their problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.

This list comes from a University of Texas study published August 2007 issue of the Archives of Sexual Behavior . It asked 400 students and volunteers why they had sex. Keep in mind, most of the subjects were college-age students